From a Curse to a Life Saver

On Sunday it was 21 years since my first heart surgery. I remember the day I was diagnosed. My wife was 8+ months pregnant with our first child. As we walked from exam room to exam room at the incredible Mayo Clinic in Rochester all eyes were on my wife’s belly as everyone assumed something must be wrong with the baby because we were so young and seemingly healthy. That is the way I felt. I was 26, in great shape. I didn’t smoke or drink; I felt invincible. However, deep down inside I was terrified because I knew there was a hidden killer in my genetics.

My father had died ten years earlier from Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy at age 43. It was after his sudden death that I learned that this genetic defect (MYBPC3) could be passed down genetically. But this is like when you hear eating foods high in cholesterol will kill you (you believe this but the possibility is so far away you don’t care) and like many young people I had no fears until my initial cardiologist in Mankato urgently sent me to the Mayo.

After many tests it was confirmed that I have Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy just like my father and needed surgery. I would need a defibrillator implanted to prevent ventricular tachycardia from causing sudden cardiac death. They wanted to do this immediately and scheduled it a few days later on May 9, 2000. My head was spinning. I was supposed to graduate from college that day. Now my life was changing before my eyes… I remember feeling what a curse? I had overcome so many obstacles to get where I was in life. Given my history, graduating college was a major feat; I was looking forward to the milestone of walking across the stage to receive my Bachelor’s Degree diploma but instead of a graduation ceremony I laid on a table for surgery.

Although I hardly remember the immediate recovery my family wasn’t sure I would survive. What I do remember was a lot of pain in my chest… Eventually I started feeling better and the nurses educated me on what my life would be like living with a defibrillator and again I didn’t think it would effect me too much…

A month after surgery I was shocked by my defibrillator (set at 1,400 watts) it knocked me to the ground. I remember this like it was yesterday. My first thought was someone hit me in the back with a 2×4. Then another shock happened and I noticed I was near the power box going into my house and wondered if there was an exposed line. It was after the third shock that I realized it was my defibrillator… This happened from doing yard work. That incident was so traumatic that as a result I stopped ALL physical activity. I grew depressed and my pre-existing anxiety disorder grew much worse. Eventually I started to drink to escape reality and try to numb the fears I lived with daily…

I became an alcoholic and gained massive amounts of weight. I was going in the opposite direction of healthy. My outlook was not good.

Then one day I realized that I was not living the life I was meant to. I found recovery from addiction and with recovery I slowly got back into fitness to help with my recovery. Years later, I shed the unhealthy weight and found whole-body wellness. Today, a month from turning 48 I am the healthiest I have ever been. I lift weights 4 times a week, run twice a week and am training for a full marathon this fall…

This life change didn’t happen overnight and I wouldn’t be here without my cardiology team. HOWEVER, if I can do this ANYONE can find true health regardless of their diagnosis… You just have to focus on one day at a time and working at your pace.

I no longer look at this as a curse. My Father who I loved and miss immensely died from this deadly disease because he didn’t know about it. However, thanks to medical technology I GET TO LIVE…

I will love my best life as payment.